Tag Archives: mad men

This Week in GoT Atrocities (but really I wanna talk about Mad Men)

This week in TV the biggest story hails not from AMC and the quiet brooding drama of Mad Men, but from the fantastical dragon and winter zombie filled world of Game of Thrones. I think it’s an excellent time to talk about why good writing is so important, particularly when dealing with sensitive subject matter.

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Alright so Jamie and Cersei are everyone’s favorite conniving incestuous lovers. She, in my opinion, is the worst of all of them. I think she is pure manipulation and hatred, and I find her completely despicable and beyond saving. Which is super awesome, because true female villains are few and far between. The disdain she inspires in me is refreshing, and I relish it. Jamie has been on a journey that is largely redemptive, and I think his devotion for her (despite how creepy it is) is endearing. Which is why the choice of the writers to film the love scene that takes place next to their dead son as a rape is truly mind boggling. You can read about how it’s different from the book here, but it’s not the change itself that is upsetting.

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I am not against portraying rape on TV or in movies. It’s a thing that happens in real life, and if it’s handled with care it can be important to see. The folks who filmed the scene between siblings seem to feel as though they shot a scene that started out as rape, but turned consensual. This is where I start to get itchy. First of all, that is not at all what happened, so there must have been some miscommunication. She is protesting throughout. But a blurred lines scene is really a tricky scene to attempt, and it already makes me nervous, because why? Why make the scene more complicated when it’s already a incestuous sex scene that takes place in the presence of their dead love child? The explanations from the directer feel lame (time line issues, rape turned consent) and feel alarmingly close to the kind of language that rapists and rape apologists use (I could tell she really wanted it, silence is consent.) I am baffled by the choice of the writers to make the change, and baffled at the execution. And then I thought, ‘what is the right way to do this?’ And as usual, I found my answer right where I expected.

In this scene, we watch a date rape occur when Joan’s fiancé visits her at work. The scene is important because we all learn just the exact kind of terrible person Greg is, but also because we see Joan’s inner struggle. Her whole arc is about coping with the loss of what she thought she wanted, and her life with Greg is the biggest piece of that debunked puzzle. The scene is violent without being big or obvious, it’s gut wrenching without having to hear her scream. We watch her try to flirt her way out of the situation, we watch her become frightened, and then we watch her escape the situation as a survival technique. It’s disturbing, but it feels very very real. The way the scene is shot allows us access to both characters, but most importantly to Joan, and we see each moment and her emotional response very clearly.

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Rape can of course be incredibly violent and brutal. It can also be quieter, and more confusing, because most sexual assailants are known to the victim. The scene between Jamie and Cersei felt heavy handed and wrong because those characters wouldn’t have that interaction. It doesn’t feel true to who they are. And we are missing both their faces, we can’t get at their motivations. And if Cersei does stop fighting and either get into it or escape the reality of the moment, we cannot see that the way we can in Joan’s scene. the GoT scene feels oddly flashy, and mostly as though it were meant to be somehow more entertaining (which, as folks have pointed out, is not dissimilar to the rape scene is Season 1 between Daenerys and Khal Drogo.) I think that actions have to feel authentic, and should also tell you something about the character. What this tells us about the sibling lovers is yet to be seen, but it will have different implications than the original scene and storyline. Which also begs the question: should rape be used as a way to develop a character? As an interesting plot twist? And do we now continue to root for Jamie and his redemption, and just over look the fact that he is also a rapist because maybe Cersei is a raging sociopathic bitch who wants her brother/lover to kill her other brother just because she hates him and thinks he poisoned her first born son/nephew?

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In conclusion: rape is never ok, even between sibling lovers or engaged persons. There is absolutely a way to write and film a scene about a reluctant sexual encounter, one that includes both protestations and then explicit consent. That is a real thing that happens to folks every day. But it didn’t happen in Westeros this week. And in the future, they should look to their retro TV drama peers to see what nuanced writing looks like, because Christina Hendricks journey in that office is flawless and complex, and I neither pity her nor hate him (although I grow to hate him later.) Complicated subjects deserve careful, thoughtful writing. I hope in the future GoT will think a little harder about the changes it’s making, and about how the changes will play out both in the fictional world and in the mind of it’s audience. Stories like these, pop culture and literature etc, are important because we all learn from them. Game of Thrones is cool, in my opinion, because it gives us a broad range of female characters to interact with, root for and despise. They aren’t all just victims or wives, they are strong and vulnerable in different ways, and I appreciate that. But if they don’t stay true to the characters they’ve drawn, these kinds of missteps send the wrong messages about the characters, and about rape and sex and love and all the messy things going on in that scene. They should remember to tread lightly, because like it or not the stories send a message, and folks are invested in the world of Westeros and all it’s power struggles. This scene sends weird messages about rape and rape culture, and it soured the whole episode for me and many others who were thrown. It’s ok to go there. You just gotta get there carefully and authentically.

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Mad Men: Seas 7 Premiere, Time Zones *SPOILERS DUH*

Friends, readers, loves of my life, let’s talk about Mad Men.

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I decided to take the plunge and re-cap all the juicy gender issues this show serves up as a way to ease the pain caused by the show’s impending end. I started binge watching this show with Claire Bear back on 96th street, and it continues to be the best show on TV (in my humble opinion). I love that watching it is more like the experience of reading a novel than a short story, and I love that the details make the show feel historic while the writing makes it accessible and contemporary. I think it perfectly reflects how much progress we have made, and how little, often in the same exact scene.

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Alright, enough love professions, let’s talk about this premiere. I want to talk about Joan, which won’t shock you if you’ve ever engaged me in a conversation about Mad Men before. I think Christina Hendricks is one of the most beautiful women in the world, and her character and her beauty stand out in a show full of beautiful and complex women. This episode was fun because seeing her spread her account wings is truly thrilling for me. Back in the day, Joan was a secretary waiting for a husband. She first advises Peggy that the right moves will land her in the country, and also to stop dressing like a little girl if she wants to be taken seriously. Oh season 1, you were so retro! She eventually found a doctor to marry,  but he was a bum, and she started to realize that the things she’d thought she wanted weren’t making her happy.

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So she kicked him out, confident she could raise her son on her own. Of course that is Roger’s kid and not Greg’s, but as far as she is concerned Roger is unreliable and she is a single parent. She knows she will need to focus on work to keep her family afloat. One of my favorite moments on the show is when her and Peggy chat after Don announces his engagement. Both women have traveled a pretty windy road to get to where they are, but being focused on their careers allows them a unique bond. They understand that their accomplishments are overshadowed by the men they work for, even when those men are recklessly getting engaged to their secretaries. Second marriage cliches not withstanding, they get each other.

And Joan get’s herself a partnership, in an episode that truly showcases this actress’s talents. But she still isn’t satisfied, and last season we watch her land her first account: Avon. She was ruthless, and frankly insubordinate, but she got it. This episode Ken sends her on a meeting with the head of marketing at a shoe account. Right away their meeting is awkward, due in large part to his not subtle condescension. He doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he’s disappointed, but makes it a point to imply that this is silly because any man would be an idiot to be disappointed to be meeting with her. He also references her perceived availability by commenting that ‘It must have been hard for you to keep this seat empty.’ He basically dismisses her, leaving after only a few moments without allowing her to engage with him.

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Not one to give up, Joan heads to a university to get some help from a professor in what I assume is business. She has a weird moment in the professor’s office, because she is always very guarded about perceived advances (especially with business associates, especially since Jaguar.) Which is totally understandable since she spent most of her life being coached to believe that her desirability was her most valuable trait. Moments like this stem from her own insecurities, indicating that she still believes that other people don’t take her seriously. And who can blame her, when schmucks like the shoe guy are so dismissive! But she rebounds, impresses the professor, and buys the company more time with the shoe account.

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And the reason we should all be rooting for Joanie? Because her struggle is still happening today, every day, for women everywhere. I can site multiple instances of being dismissed or not taken seriously by someone while at work, usually by customers. In fact, I’ve had customers specifically ask if a man is available (while working at a store that sells technology, FYI.) And women still aren’t getting paid as much as men, and the Senate just blocked passage of The Fair Pay Act, because some folks don’t think equal pay is a real issue. Balancing a family and a career continues to be an issue and a discussion mostly centered around women, because women continue to complete the majority of household and child care tasks. Joan breaks my heart a little because she had to face extreme and total disappointment before realizing how great she was at her job. She truly came from a time and place where college and/or work were just stepping stones to your real life. I admire her so because instead of staying unhappy and clinging to the vision of the life she’d wanted, she kicked out her no-good husband and kept right on moving. She accepted that work made her happy, and she changed courses. Her ascension, for me, is even more riveting than Peggy’s because Peggy was always a little weird and I don’t think she was ever truly hoping to marry quick. Joan is strong but vulnerable, she is hard working and even ruthless, she is gorgeous and ethereal and I just can’t wait to watch her wiggle her way into accounts.

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SOTU: Obama Hearts WomenZ

Oh man, how hype were you for the State of the Union?! I mean, maybe we’ve been disappointed at times with the man or the administration, but I think we can all agree that he has speech giving skillZ, for realZ. (Ok I promise I’ll only do that obnoxious Z thing like…. one more time…)

Here’s the entire speech, if you’ve got time to kill:

Obams had my heart swelling at a few key moments. The first was when he shouted out the first lady, Michelle, for being a bad ass role model. Their affection for one another gets me every time.

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so precious.
so precious.

He also had some choice quotes about the state of ladieZ (last time) in the good ole’ USA:

“Today, women make up about 1/2 our work force, but they still make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns. That is wrong, and in 2014 its an embarassment. Women deserve equal pay for equal work.”

I COMPLETELY AGREE BOO! The wage gap is super embarassing, a statistic often cited by feminist to prove that there is work left to be done.

“It’s time to do away with policies that belong in a Mad Men episode.”

What? A Don Draper shout out!

This man truly knows the way to my heart via pop culture references.
POTUS truly knows the way to my heart via pop culture references.

 He elaborates:

“She deserves to have a baby without sacrificing her job… and you know what, a father does too.

I believe when women succeed, America succeeds.”

Excellent nod to the basic principle that ‘women’s issues’ are truly universal, and that pro-women policies will also have a positive effect on men and men’s lives. Subtle, yet forceful. I loved this part of the speech. I saw some ladies in the audience being roused from their seats, excited that he was touching on these issues as part of a larger ‘economic strength’ theme, seeing their concerns reflected in his vision. It was great.

here here!
here here!

But. Yea, that ever so small but. There were some concerns notably absent. He steered way clear of reproductive rights issue when discussing the Affordable Care Act, which I totally get. It’s a hot button topic. He did mention that pre existing conditions no longer block coverage, and that kids can stay on their parents insurance longer, both of which are awesome parts of the bill. And he did shout out women, who can not longer be charged a higher rate because they are, well, women (UGH DUH YES.) However, reproductive choices and contraception have great bearing on the financial well being of women and families. So discussing those aspects of the law would have been an on target point.

No mention of this...
No mention of this…

He also steered clear of gay rights completely, and in general kept the speech’s thread tied to economic well being. And I appreciate the arc and overall coherence of the address. However, some things can’t be measured in dollars and cents. Safe spaces, personal well being and fulfillment, a life without fear, all things that can’t be directly addressed through economic policy or tax code. Those were points I was hoping to hear him take a stronger stance on. I also missed some of the environment portion, I know he said climate change is for sure real (awesome!) but he also was all about natural gas and if that’s fracking then that’s probably bad news bears right? Maybe? I’m not an expert so I’ll just save that for future commentary by folks with more going-green knowledge.

Overall, I thought he was eloquent and persuasive. I’m amped to hear him state outright that he’s going to take action on his own, without involving Congress, since they have proven to be useless. I hope this new attitude carries over from speech fodder to real life executive orders. If he manages to raise the minimum raise this way, well I think I’ll just faint. Honestly, I’d love to see him go truly radical. Nothing he mentioned was really that revolutionary, and it astounds me that the other side thinks he is ‘socialist’ or ‘far left.’ Almost everything sounded to me like common sense, very middle of the road. But I guess that’s why I steer clear of politics (and large geographic sections of this country…)

hoping for more of this attitude... LOL
hoping for more of this attitude… LOL

What did you think about the gender issues he touched on?

A Quick Note: Fox News and the Nostalgia for ‘When Men Were Men’

There is a video circulating my newsfeed (which, if you haven’t figured out by now, is where I find most of my material…) Here. Enjoy.

Here is, in my opinion, the most dangerous quote: “…it emerges from this mindset that a lot of women have unfortunately bought into, this destructive idea that men prevent them from being able to achieve their goals.”

Now, this idea is super ridiculous. However, the distinction between men and the patriarchy is one that a lot of people do not grasp, and I get how this guy came to that conclusion. Let’s break it down: When women make 77 cents on the dollar of men, that is patriarchy working. When women are overwhelmingly the victims of spousal abuse and sexual violence, that is patriarchy working. When magazine covers feature glossy airbrushed photos of women that make women feel bad and keep us focused on our beauty as our most important asset, that is patriarchy. When women are still hitting a glass ceiling, absent in the top echelons and board rooms and decision making roles in virtually all industries and in politics, that is patriarchy working. When masculinity is linked with dominance and violence and not compassion or empathy, that is patriarchy working. It is not ‘men’ as a group that keep the oppressive status quo in place, it is in fact all of us that live our lives without challenging the patriarchal values and systems we see working around us. Women need not defeat men to live full lives and be seen as humans; we all need to defeat patriarchy.

Now, I’m not sure that the guy, Nick, gets that. He might and simply not care. Because pitting men and women against each other is a much better way to sell books and distract us from the real work of dismantling the very system he longs for. Nick isn’t anti-patriarchy at all, he is just pro-‘men being men.’ Because real men are dominant and run the world and real women are submissive and play a support role and damnit, that’s just how it’s supposed to be! This nostalgia for a by-gone (not totally by gone, but at least by-gone enough that we can use Mad Men as a reference point for then) era of male dominance is actually pretty disgusting. They aren’t even really arguing that it was better for women then, which is something they’ll sometimes throw out there, just that masculinity being complicated and evolving as a result of the work of feminists is hard for them and confusing and they just don’t wanna deal. Whine, whine, whine. ‘Wimps and wussies deliver mediocrity’ is a telling quote, because wimps and wussies are really code for ‘girly men.’ Men who display feminine characteristics, which are of course ‘feminine’ by cultural standards only. So it’s all about downgrading women and anything traditionally feminine, about keeping the lines clear and keeping the traditional and completely arbitrary rules of behavior in place. If you want the freedom to live your life the way you see fit, without worrying about fitting in to the rigid boxes we’ve created for ‘real men’ and ‘real women’, then you should rally with the feminists that are working to undo the world that this guy wishes we could return to.

Ok. End of rant. I could go on for days but, let’s just agree to not watch Fox news and not buy this guys book. Also I didn’t mention anything about the fact that he’s Australian because the patriarchy is everywhere and his ideas are gross so it doesn’t really matter where he hails from. Ew.

Mommy Rules: Magazines

Ah, motherhood. A state of being so fraught with cultural meaning and weight, it’s a monolithic symbol that’s been constructed and reconstructed since the freakin’ dawn of time. And I think it’s fucking great. I think that women being able to sustain two lives with one body is absolutely the coolest thing in the whole wide world. (You can read more about that here.)

I am officially at the point in my life where I have lots of wedding and baby shower announcements in my newsfeed. Eek. One of my very best friends, we’ll call her Belle,  is preggo with what will I’m sure be smart/sassy/talented/epically gorgeous little girl whom I will always call sugar bean. I am excited and jealous and absolutely cannot wait to start teaching that precious child all the tricks of the trade. Belle has been sending me weekly belly photos, which make me long to be there, and also keeping me abreast of some of the nonsense that happens when you are visibly pregnant. With her permission, I’m gonna share some of those stories in an ongoing new series: MOMMY RULES.

Here are some dope Mom’s:

THAT. FACE.
THAT. FACE.
Powerful, resilient, and raised one smart cookie!
Powerful, resilient, and raised one smart cookie!
Oh, this is my mom. She is holding the orchid i got her for mother's day and wearing a pin with a baby pic of me. Precious.
Oh, this is my mom. She is holding the orchid I got her for mother’s day and wearing a pin with a baby pic of me. Precious.

Obviously there are too many dope mom’s to list, and that list would overlap a whole lot with my ‘dope women’ list, obviously.  So this series is dedicated to all the dope ladies who are also moms out there. And to sugar bean (love you already boo bear!)

Our first story takes place in a maternity store (photos not edited, please excuse touch screen spelling errors!):

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After making a purchase, Belle was offered a choice between 2 magazines: Parenting and the Top 150 Cupcake Recipes of 2013. She hates baking. She was immediately offended and outwardly irritated.

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The magazines themselves lived up to her expectations.

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Ov.

I think my main concern with her story (other than the poor sales person on the receiving end of her anger LOL) is that Parenting magazine seems like it would be more accurately named Mothering, or Parenting for Women. I shudder to think of the variety of stories written whose main function is to make women feel insecure and inferior. It sounds like the main theme is ‘You’re doing it wrong!‘ Your choices, your post baby body, your relationships. I mean good lord, how are women supposed to get their kids fed and clothed between the constant bouts of anxiety and their obsessive worrying about doing it right and looking perfect to boot?!

And the cupcakes? Do I even need to say it? The assumption that ‘all mother’s must know how to and enjoy (or at least fake enjoy) baking’ is insane. Because mothers are, what I like to refer to as, people. And people, generally, are all super complicated and unique, with lots of different interests and passions. And being good at baking is not a pre-requisite for being a human, or for being a mom. The above mentioned Kristin (hey boo!) is an excellent baker and colleague/bestie of Belle’s, and it’s great that she loves to bake and has a side gig and lots of talent! We love that! But that’s not all mother’s… or all women… or all people. However, people have lots of opinions on how mother’s should act, and because we revere mother’s and give them all kinds of status, we also feel as though we can criticize and critique their behavior. This is often done publicly, face to face, with no remorse or embarrassment. These magazine offerings are a kind of critique, and while Belle felt angry because the choices were limited and stupid, my anger extends to the fact that the choices offered were also a judgment on the perceived behaviors of the store’s clientele.

So mom’s beware. You are being watched, judged, and held accountable.

But hey, at least it’s not the late 50’s…

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Ah, smoking while pregnant. Those were the days…

It’s in His Kiss

Well, I consider September 1st to be the end of summer. I know that’s not official, but September feels to me like school and changing leaves and chilly evenings. Summer lovin’, I suppose to had me a blast. Sort of.

As summer romance winds down, I have noticed an idea trend that I find sort of wrong but fascinating. It has to do with how my friends and I think about intimacy, how we think about the physical part of romance. Here is some evidence:

Ok, so a song about the importance of a kiss. Cher (obviously full of wisdom) is saying that not only is kissing important, it’s really the most important. So catchy.

Now for the real douzie (ignore the subtitles):

Ok so, we can ignore for now all the very ridiculous notions this movie has about sex workers and sex consumers, and really about men and women in general, and focus on one lesson that I think, for better or worse, has stuck. And that is that kissing is more intimate, more romantic, than sex. In this movie, spunky hooker Julia Roberts (singing ‘Kiss’ by Prince, so appropriate) has sex with men for money, but on the advice of her sassy best friend Kit won’t kiss on the mouth. There is actually a scene in Mad Men, Seas 3 I believe, where Roger Sterling calls up a high class pros and she too has the no kissing on the mouth rule. And the turning point in the movie, when the audience knows they are in love, is in fact when she kisses Richard Gere (arrogant yet someone sweet rich dude) on the mouth, breaking her own rule and losing control of her feelings. Eventually he climbs a fire escape with roses and they live happily ever after.

Now, fictional characters aside, every single girl I’ve talked to in the past months agrees with me that kisses mean more than sex. It is by no means the first step or the gateway to the real intimate experience. In fact, kissing is more confusing that just good ole’ sex, whether it be first date sex or friend sex or whatever. We get confused with just a kiss, convinced that sex is always the goal and therefore dumbfounded when the physical interaction stops there. What does it mean, just a kiss? It feels important, romantic, and loaded in a way that getting completely naked doesn’t. Like Julia, we all seem to be tuned into the idea that sex can be given and taken as a commodity, that it can be more of a transaction than a connection. But a kiss, something is going on in a kiss.

I get a little uncomfortable when I realize this is a phenomenon, for a few reasons. One is that sex can and should be intimate, at least sometimes, and it makes me sad that all my friends (myself included) see it is something different. It goes along with my theory about how girls are giving it up to get to what they really want. And I guess what we really want (or at least [maybe] what I really want at the moment) is the kiss. It’s the intimacy part. The part where you kiss under streetlights and dole out compliments without strings attached and hold hands and cuddle. And for the girls I know, all that is way more romantic than sex, and I think this makes for confusing interactions. If girls are thinking that a kiss, just a simple kiss goodnight, means more than an actual naked interaction, then we have a serious problem if guys don’t also know this. And I’m not sure they do.

It’s hard to understand, but being sexualized is something that women experience all day every day. Sometimes it’s ok to feel like an object, but sometimes it’s exhausting and annoying. I suspect that this is tied into the idea of sex being less than intimate. If we are being ogled, watched, and even touched all day every day, it’s easy to see how sex can feel more public and out of our control than private and safe. And this intimacy hierarchy is one that gets proliferated in pop culture, and not just as adults. We all know that in fairy tales, its the kiss that leads to happily ever after. And for awhile, in the bliss of youth and naiveté, we have no idea that there could be anything sweeter, more romantic, more life altering than a kiss. Maybe those ideas are simply too charming and too big to be blown away, even with the changing of many seasons.

Spooning!

Ok, let’s jump right back in.

Black and white, basic spooning example

I want to talk about spooning, which if you don’t know is when two people lay on their sides, facing the same way, so one person is in front (little spoon) and one person behind holding the other (big spoon.) Spooning is by far my fave way to cuddle. Recently I was having a lighthearted discussion with a cuddle partner about spooning, because this position (like most sex roles) is gendered. Usually, girls are the little spoon. We both agreed that sometimes its nice to switch it up. I like being the big spoon because I like the idea of holding someone else, and I also happen to think that shoulders are really sexy so I like looking at them. And then he agreed that sometimes its nice to feel like one is being cuddled rather than doing the cuddling.

Art-sy spooning

This convo I think illustrates how pervasive all this stuff is. A person, no matter who, will from time to time feel vulnerable and in need of support. Sometimes you just want to feel held, like someone has their arm around you and wants to take care of you. Why would that only be true for girls? And why wouldn’t girls want to give support sometimes?

AAAAHHHHHHH! SPOONING PUPPIES!!!

I guess this seems pretty trivial, but if you can’t get what you need from spooning, can you really express what you need in other areas? And if, on the whole, men are afraid to be vulnerable and take the little spoon position, aren’t their much larger implications for their lives and relationships? I’ve been watching a lot of Mad Men (Seas 4 on DVD is the bomb dot com), and Don Draper is always making me think about masculinity and how men have to keep up their manliness. This character is seriously afraid of letting people in, telling people too much, relying on others and being seen as weak. But no man is an island and everyone needs support in moments of crisis. I think, when spooning, its ok to switch and even more ok to ask for whichever position you prefer in that moment. Small considerations and requests like that can certainly reverb into larger, more important conversations.

(For the record, right now I need to be little spooning. Preferably while watching Don Draper strive to be a better man, but more on Mad Men later…)

This is Don Draper. He is NOT spooning :/

Ok, let’s post about Mad Men.

Here is fair warning. When Season 5 of this PHENOMENAL show starts, I’m gonna be writing about it all the time. The gender issues are so spectacular I could dedicate this whole freakin blog to it.

I was gonna write about something else but then I wanted a Mad Men clip and then I found these AMAZING videos with cast/director commentary and I got led in a whole different direction. So click HERE, and watch the video 409, “The Beautiful Girls, and then read on.

Seriously, I’ll wait….

Ok seriously, how good is this quote “Ok Peggy, I guess we’ll have a Civil Rights march for women.” Its just too good.

But anyway these themes link to a conversation I was having in this apartment not too long ago, inspired by another series you may have heard of, Sex and the City. I have two roomates, and they are both boys and they are both Cancers. We’ll call one Kahn Crab and one Canada Crab because I love alliteration. So Canada Crab was calling Miranda, the super smart/independent/cynical lawyer, a bitch. And I was very ineloquently disagreeing with him. Here, hopefully more eloquently, is what I was trying to convey.

When women are making decisions about their professional lives, they are always more complicated than men’s decisions. As Matthew Weiner mentions, women’s roles have been largely defined by how they relate to men. Indeed, we are trained from a young age to consider the needs of others before our own. We are always doing for others, and when we aren’t doing for others we get called names (bitch is the main stinger.) Not only that, but it’s way harder for women to get to the top of their profession and they give up more to do it (see the video posted in “Confidence“.) Overwhelmingly, women do more of the unpaid labor that occurs in the home, and so it’s a big deal deciding whether or not to be career or family oriented because ultimately, it’s harder for us to do both.

Durning this minor disagreement, I stated emphatically (read: blurted out) that men get to have careers and come home to houses that women run. Canada Crab disagreed, but I stand by that statement. Ask any married man with a career, and the overwhelming majority will tell you that its the wives who run the household. Still today. 2011. Which is why Mad Men is so brilliant, because we get to marvel at not only at how far we’ve come, but also how little we’ve moved. Faye’s speech to Don at the end could absolutely come out of any professional women’s mouth today, in this city or any other. Women still take a man’s name, leaving behind their identity so that people can know they are someone’s wife. We overwhelming take on the role of caregiver, in a variety of circumstances. And work, for women, will always have two realms: the professional, and the second shift in the home. That’s why our decisions are fraught with more tension and heartache. In a lot of ways, the stakes are higher.

And now, a fun photo of Christina Hendricks, the love of my life, who is beautiful and also brilliant at playing the complex and heartwrenching character of Joan.

Breathtaking, I know. Go rent seasons 1-3 so when they release Seas 4 and I have a party at my place you can come prepared.