Gwyneth Paltrow On Working Moms (was she always this insufferable?)

In general, I think it’s pretty weird when fans of celebrities, musicians or actors, think that they somehow know that person. Our fame-whore culture depends on this idea, that celebrities are their ‘real selves’ in interviews and that we, the fans, have access to them completely. But this isn’t true, it never really has been, and for the most part, you do not know anything that really matters about the folks that get worshipped on stage and screen.

That being said, this academy award winning actress has said enough kind of obnoxious things that I am getting a distinct feeling that, well, I do NOT like her.

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But I’m not here to throw shade just for the sake of throwing shade. I’m here to tell you about some comments she made in a recent interview with E! News that are super out of touch, and also violate what I think is a key understanding amongst feminists, women, and all who stand as allies. Which is we stick together and acknowledge our differences without throwing shade or making implications about the circumstances or choices of others. We need to stick together.

This hilarious retort in the New York Post sums up my feelings of snark about her thoughts. Here are some of her thoughts:

“I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening… When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day, and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

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Yea, and their should be haters after that comment, which is sprinkled in with other laments about how she doesn’t like to play the lead because then she has to be on set every day. And about how she limits herself to one movie a year. And I mean, yea, in her world I guess those things can be a bummer.

But to say that being a movie star who gets paid millions of dollars per film is harder than being a working mom with a 9-5p? I just-

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The thing is, we shouldn’t be counting other people’s money or making assumptions about their lives. I am not saying that she has an easy time, parenting. And now that she is separated she will be a single mom and that is rough and a hard thing for families to go through. But it’s super bad form for her to say that other moms have it easier. Because other mom’s have to worry about things like child care and how to afford it, and how to take time off if they need to care for a sick kid. They need to worry about health insurance, making dinner after a full day, and the overarching pressure that comes with being a family breadwinner and knowing that if you lose your job your family will suffer.

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Money does not solve all your problems, and indeed it can create new ones. But money can buy you lots of help, and savings can mean security. Working mother’s should be sticking together, working to implement family leave, sponsored child care, and the full range of reproductive choices every woman and mother needs to make the best decisions for herself and her family. Whining about how hard your life is and speculating that ‘regular working moms’ have it easier is just… counterproductive. And it’s obnoxious. And it’s not helping to promote any of the issues that could help not just you, oscar-winning Gwyneth, but all mom’s everywhere.

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Bottom line: speculation about how hard or easy anyone else has it in this life is a complete waste of time. Everyone has their own shit, even people with trust funds and lots of cash to burn. It doesn’t mean they aren’t sometimes greedy or obnoxious or out of touch, but we can all be those things. These quotes are so cringe-worthy because she sounds so out of touch with the reality of other people’s live, and there is a complete lack of empathy. We all need more empathy for each other, so that we can work together. And especially moms because moms are amazing and so are dads and parenting is a feat of total courage and faith. I’d like for our culture to start putting their money where their mouth is, and instead of just talking about how amazing moms are actually start to help them with concrete policies and programs. Lets forget about Gwyneth all together, I don’t wanna hate on her and her silly comments. I just want to focus on the moms that matter. Which is all moms.

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