I had a bliss night last night guys. So lets talk about bliss before we get to the less than lovely part.
I attended a rooftop party in Williamsburg last night. Mr Busy and his band bros started off the night (you can check their stuff out here, or here.) After the sun went down and the city lit up, a DJ took over and we danced. A lot. Hard. I maybe haven’t mentioned this, but I have been dancing longer than I’ve been doing anything else. I used to be one of those little girls in pink tights and black leotards, and twirling remains in my top 5 all-time favorite activities. I just can’t stop when music plays. It’s like my mind ceases to exist and my body just moves. My mother claims that I was dancing in utero (she took her cute pregnant self to a Jeffery Osborne concert and I was kicking on beat. True story. Here’s some J.O., who is a classic R&B dynamo. If you don’t know, now you know.) Dancing is that thing that makes me feel like me, that thing that has me radiating joy that you can’t describe, and love. I suggest everyone try and find this for themselves. It makes this insane world we live in just a little bit easier to navigate. And if not easier, at least more fun, for as long as the music lasts.
Ok so you can picture it. Manhattan is a glow, there are BBQs in full effect, and lots lots lots of beer. Even a few Four Locos (you know who you are.) I am in a haze of love and movement, when I notice that there is a boy sort of dancing with me. Now, this is A-OK. No worries. So then I stop to send a text (multi-tasking, duh) and he asks if I’d like a drink. I reply that I am only in need of water, because I can feel the dehydration happening already. At this point he disappears, and reappears with a bottle of wanter and two cups. I was shocked! How nice! So we are sharing this water that he ‘found’, and then he leans in and kisses me on the cheek, and continues to try and kiss me on the mouth. Right there, under the skyline, without any previous invitation or encouragement. Now don’t get me wrong, this would have been a lovely place to be kissed. A very romantic setting. But, he didn’t even ask my name. We had almost no interaction what so ever before he made a move. And he kept going for it, even after I told him it wasn’t going to happen.
I just have to say guys, that this is really not nice or flattering. It’s one thing to have a romantic rooftop moment, when the vibe is there and your flirt is on and it’s all in the momentum. But what this kid did was take a shot in the dark, probably because he’s learned that he has a pretty good chance. Because girls, first of all, are there to be kissed, and second of all we’re all desperate. But my body is does not just exist to be touched/kissed/judged by men. In fact, last night, it existed to dance. And even if it was meant as a sweet gesture, it ceased to be sweet when I said ‘not happening’ and he didn’t back off. No doesn’t mean ‘try harder’. It doesn’t mean ‘you should start flirting with me now, since we didn’t actually speak words before, and then try to kiss me again in 2 minutes.’ I know that each and every night women get man handled when they go out, and its just not ok. Don’t let dudes make you feel uncomfortable, put their hands on you when you dance, or talk to you disrespectfully. You are a person, with full rights at consideration and conversation and r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well, this over-eager young man did not ruin my night. I fended him off, as we all learn to do. I could have been mean, “bitchy”, but instead I just kept talking him down and eventually got back on the dance floor and he seemed disappointed but thats just how the night goes. I don’t have to be nice or kiss every boy that makes moves. Cause it’s not all about them. It’s about you and how you want the night to go. And last night, all I wanted to do was dance with my friends. You never have to apologize for that. And despite the unwanted advances, it was still, overwhelmingly, a beautiful night.