Guys, today I am proud to be from the First State, Delaware! Yes, Delaware is a whole entire state. It is also the Diamond State, and home of tax free shopping. And today, a bill was passed to allow Civil Unions for gay couples. You can read about that here.
Now, I have to mention that not every gay man and woman cares about this. Some think that going the heteronormative path, trying to parallel mainstream rights, is not the way to go. They think that the movement needs to get back to it’s radical roots. And I for one can’t completely disagree. I am not into marriage. It’s a super privileged status, and the only way that you elevate one group is by subordinating another. And not only are people who aren’t married denied rights, but within marriage itself there are those with power and those with less. Remember, marriage used to be a property exchange, and that legacy is not entirely dead. Women around the world still wear white on this day, even though its technically no longer a symbol of virginity. But there are still places in the world where you can be killed for not bleeding on your wedding night, or sent back to your family shamed for life, and marital rape was only recognized (in this country!) by the law in the past 30 years. The white dress encompasses all of that, and I think we need to be more concious of all the baggage that comes with this institution. I think we should dismantle the whole thing and figure something else out. Sometimes I wonder what the heck the homos are thinking, but then again husband and husband or wife and wife isn’t the same thing as husband and wife, so maybe the power dynamic isn’t so severe.
I don’t have a complete solution. This is an issues I think about often, because it is so personally/politically intertwined. I will say, however, that gay marriage is going to happen in my lifetime. The ball is already rolling. And I understand how important it is to some people, people who want to declare their love and have their family recognized. And so it warms my heart. Even though politically I am somewhat torn, personally I think that we should celebrate love in all it’s variations. For now, this is how the community is going after rights, and they do deserve rights. And love is it, you know? It is the very thing. It’s all you need, it’s what the world needs now, it’s my drug… It’s what we should all measure our lives in.