The Lovers, The Dreamers… and the Bad Boyfriends?

Alright, so life can be disappointing. Specifically, my love life. But before we delve into that, lets take a moment to enjoy this lovely video.

Wow, the Muppets. Classic. A few summers ago I staged The Muppet Movie as a summer camp musical. It was pretty hilarious. But this video is not just entertainment, it’s a learning tool.

I recently read a pretty hilarious book called I Don’t Care About Your Band. Author and comedy writer Julie Klausner was preachin’ to the choir with her tales of post-millennium guys and how hard it is to date. Especially in New York. The biggest ‘A-Ha!’ moment I had was in the chapter about Kermit the Frog. She has this brilliant metaphor, about how this generation of girls are Ms Piggys, funny and fabulous and over the top, and instead of becoming stars on our own shows we are chasing Kermit: the skinny, guitar playing, oblivious ‘cool guy’ who just wants to chill by the pond and hang with his bros. Sound brilliant? Yea, I about fell off the park bench reading that. In fact, here’s her exact words which are smarter and better than mine:

As I watched Kermit haplessly biking down the street without a care in the world, about to be smushed between two steamrollers, I thought, “Oh my God. I know that guys. I’ve dated him.” Kermit, beloved frog of yore, suddenly, overwhelmingly, reminded my adult self of vintage-eyeglass-frame-wearing guys from Greenpoint or Silver Lake, who pedal alone avenues in between band practice and drinks with friends, sans attachment, oblivious to the impeding hazards of reality and adulthood. Oh my god, I thought. Kermit is one of those hipsters who seem like they’re afraid of me. It all came together. Remember how content Kermit was, just strumming his banjo on a tree trunk in the swamp? That’s the guy I’ve been chasing my whole life, killing myself trying to show his how fabulous I am. Remember how, on The Muppet Show, Kermit used to politely laugh at Miss Piggy’s earnest pleas for some kissy-kissy, or fend off her jealousy after flirting right in front of her with one of his pretty guest stars? Piggy had to canvas relentlessly to get herself a good part on that show, while Kermit was always the star… Kermit never appreciated what he had in Piggy, because she was just one great thing about his awesome life. ~JK

Alright, well, I hope this is making as much sense to you as it does to me. I think, more than anything, you just want someone to look at you and say ‘You are a lot, and I specifically like how much you are.’ In general, I look around and see a lot of my girl friends dumbing themselves down or dimming their shiny-ness, hoping to catch boys that are used to being in the spotlight. But who wants to be a diamond in the rough when you can be precious jewels, 24/7? Why should we want these shy guys with their bromances and instruments? (Cause they are gorgeous usually, and yea, I totally get that.) Julie goes on to say that “…if you want to be the star of a show, you should make your own effing show… Or maybe you’ll find out one day that instead of a popular charmer with a talent for playing the banjo, what you really want is a guy who digs you like crazy.” (JK)

I mean, it’s like this girl has been watching video of all my recent past romantic encounters. And what I’ve learned (and am trying really hard to believe/implement) is that boys aren’t meant to be chased. And neither are girls. You shouldn’t have to convince anyone that you’re a good idea. You’re a great idea, and that should be obvious. If you’re green-skinned crush is charming and strumming but too busy writing songs and hanging with the boys to notice how hilarious and gorgeous and unique you are, then just let it go. This whole pig chasing frog fiasco is really funny when it’s puppets, but on the big bad streets of Manhattan… it’s exhausting and ineffective. And downright outrageous. Kermit needs to put the banjo down and make moves. And Piggy should probably direct/produce her own variety show and find someone who can make her laugh and handle her karate chop.

(All credit to this brilliant hilarious woman, many thanks for the lessons and laughs and inspiration for this post. You can find out more about Julie here.)


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