So here is this very interesting article, and interview with a woman I’ve never heard before. Go ahead and read the whole thing, I’ll wait….
First of all, note that part where she says she hates the term casual sex. I HAVE BEEN SAYING JUST THAT THIS WHOLE TIME! I got so excited, she articulated it all so well. How it’s intimate and vulnerable, how you can’t be detached and have an orgasm. Perfect.
Now I should say that I totally don’t know anything about Susie Bright beyond this article, so I can’t speak to her whole career or ideology. I do want to read her book after reading this interview, but overall I can’t say 100% that I am into her. But I am into this article. It hits on some key issues I have.
I think that promiscuity gets a bad rap. A lot of problems get blamed on it, and also its assumed that there is an underlying issues like abuse or insecurity. I think that, at the core of it, what we really mean is that all women should want one man. Because we all need one. And not only is there the monogamy issue, but our sexual imaginations are very limited. I personally think that 98% of porn is pretty anti-woman, but that doesn’t mean that I find none of those images erotic or appealing. Porn, honestly, is frustrating to me. I have to work really hard to ignore how anti-woman most of the images I have access to are. However, railing against all porn and criticizing women for having sexual imaginations is not the right way to go, because we do have sexual imaginations and those imaginations deserve space to fantasize. If the feminist movement itself is limiting female sexuality, I mean who can we look to? I know that women’s sexuality is a powerful thing. It’s strong and inclusive and connected to our power of motherhood (connected but not chained to) and the reason it’s been suppressed is precisely because of how overwhelming and amazing it is.
I can’t say enough that I think all women need to figure out how to give themselves an orgasm, and now I want to add that we should all be expanding our fantasy life. Sex can be expansive, it can be a lot of things and you have every right to figure out exactly what you want it to be. And when you do, well we live in an era where you should be able, fairly easily, to find someone who wants those same things. Fantasies don’t make you dirty, hell look at all the depraved and weird stuff men get to fantasize about (for the record I don’t necessarily think its depraved but by mainstream cultural standards shit is raunchy.) We need to talk to each other about what we want, and also seek out sex positive environments where explorations is condemned and labeled as ‘slutty’. Now, I’ve said before how important it is to have safe sex (not just one post, but two). How much safer can you get, than in a room with just you and you?