Showstoppin’

I was watching some really trashy TV yesterday. Aubrey O’day has a new show on the oxygen network. This is the chick that basically split up Danity Kane of Making the Band/Diddy fame. Home girl is a hot mess. Check out her scandalous Playboy cover:

Oh Hugh...

Now, I won’t get into all of the issues I have with the show (her ‘weight gain’, her fake eyelashes, her dating habits ect) but I will say that Aubrey is indicative of a lot of girls I see when I go out. Girls I want to yell at. I’ll explain.

If you wear short, shiny, really tight dresses with stripper-high gladiator heels, you are going to look like a hooker. It’s not cute. Also, if things don’t fit your body, like if they pull across your hips and bunch or if your boobies hang out, then you look silly and out of control, not sexy. For the life of me I can’t figure out what the hell girls are thinking. Especially girls on college campuses. I was at the University of Delaware this past weekend and I saw some truly heinous outfits. And, worse, girls running around late at night teetering on heels and tipsy and without a coat. Now, seriously, is wearing appropriate winter attire really gonna keep you from getting laid/finding the boy of your dreams?

Listen, I’m all about goin’ out lookin fly feelin sexy. Stamp that. But hoe’in it up is not doing anything for you, and it sure as shit isn’t helping the rest of us either. If you leave nothing to the imagination, no one will fantasize about you. Plus, if you dress like trash you give people permission to treat you like trash. And, if you simultaneously can’t handle your liquor, well it’s all downhill from there. And I get it, we’ve all had our moments (which is why you make sure you go out with your girls and take care of each other). But if its a constant pattern, you may wanna take a step back and reevaluate your wardrobe and your drinking habits. To quote Stacey and Clinton: if you aren’t attracting the caliber of man you’d like, take a look in the mirror and see if you are projecting the image said man would want. Desperation isn’t cute, its easy. That kind of attire screams desperation, insecurity, easy mark, and those qualities are only attractive to predators and low-lifes. High heels are hot, just don’t pair them with crotch length satin minis. Cleavage is sexy, as long as the girls are properly secured and your whole ass isn’t also out and about. If you look put together you just might get taken a teeny bit more seriously. Personally, no matter what degree of commitment or love goes into a sexual encounter, I never want to feel cheap or trashy or easy. You want to feel sexy, not objectified or used and abused.

And trust me, if your goal is just quick and dirty one night stand sex, you can accomplish that without looking like you are gonna charge for it. I promise.

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